


I need you to know

by iwtv



Series: Peach Verse [3]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: M/M, hopefully i'll get around to writing longer fics for this series, in which Thomas has guilty feelings, over his relationship with James from their London days, peach verse angst, these look even shorter on here than on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 12:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10899693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwtv/pseuds/iwtv





	I need you to know

For the tumblr prompt "It's always been you." 

——-

When James was fully awake and wondered out of the bedroom he did not see Thomas anywhere. Usually if Thomas was awake first he was either preparing breakfast or reading. James opened the front door. There, across the rows of peach trees, Thomas sat on the grove’s single bench. It was just past sunrise; they never started quite this early in the grove.

“Did you not sleep well?” James asked as he approached the bench.

Thomas offered him a dim smile and shook his head.

“I’m afraid not.”

There was a book and a candle on the top of the bench, though the book was closed. 

“You’ve been out here since before dawn?” James asked, concerned. He saw now that Thomas wore worry lines above his eyebrows. James sat down beside him.

“What is it?”

The question left no room for denial or avoidance. Thomas met his gaze for a moment and sighed, licking his lips.

“I need to tell you something,” he began. “A kind of confession, really. About before.”

Oh. ‘Before’ was the word of choice the two of them used when referring to London and everything that had happened before their lives had been altered so drastically. James tensed. Even now, after nearly two years of a peaceful existence here in Northern Florida, the past was difficult for them to speak about, like a worn-down ghost who, while it possessed no potency of suffering over them anymore, was a ghost nonetheless and therefore difficult to address.

“Tell me,” James said to him now, fingers gently trailing over the back of his lover’s hand. Thomas quickly turned his hand over and clasped James’s hand to his. 

“During that brief period of time,” Thomas said, “When we were quite along in our relationship but still hopeful for Nassau, I know I became…very insistent,” Thomas said slowly, struggling for the words. “Often times I was pushy, for lack of a better term. Towards Peter, towards Miranda, and towards you.”

“You had your moments,” said James with a wry smile, hoping to lighten his mood. Thomas gave him a forced grin.

“Yes, I know.” The grin faded. “But more than that, I know how obsessed I became, blinded to our cause. And yet, at the same time, you were sharing my bed. My liaison, my partner, whose connection and influence were to help me succeed in my mission.” 

The corners of Thomas’s eyes crinkled as they narrowed in thought, his face staring at their entwined fingers.

“Thomas, what is this about?” James asked after the silence seemed to grow heavy. Thomas squeezed James’s hand, turning towards him so their knees touched.

“I need you to know–” he started “–and I know this may or may not sound stupid, but I need you to know that I was absolutely, unequivocally devoted to you during that time.”

Thomas looked up directly at him, the urgency written in his eyes. “James, I need you to know that no matter how blinded I may have become to what I wanted on a social or political front, I would have chosen you above all else.If things had gone differently, if we had failed,or if I was forced to choose. I would have sacrificed all of it to have you in my life, no matter the consequences. It’s always been you that I have been most devoted to.”

James studied the eyes that gazed back at him with a low-lying fear that James detested. He would squelch it immediately. He raised a palm to Thomas’s cheek.

“I know,” he said. “I’ve never, ever thought any differently, so you can banish any doubt you might have had right now. Jesus, Thomas, I could feel your devotion for me; I remember the intensity of…everything.”

‘Everything’ was the best way he knew how to describe those dizzying few months of bliss they had had together. He hoped his tone left no room for doubt. Thomas’s face visibly brightened, dissolving most of his worry lines and making him look younger. He let out a little laugh, looking sheepish.

“Oh good. I’m sorry,” he said. “The truth is I had a nightmare last night and that is why I didn’t sleep. In it I remember we were back in my house in London and I disappointed you terribly, but I can’t recall why. Except that when I awoke the sensation was so strong I almost panicked. But it has been something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.”

James let out a sigh and tipped his lover’s chin with his finger, leaning in for a kiss. When they pulled apart James licked his lips.

“I’m glad you got it off your chest,” he said. “But for the record, yes. It was a stupid notion to begin with.”

Thomas laughed out loud and James knew all was well in the world again.


End file.
